As a British Ghanaian with a deep commitment to education, UK Black History Month (BHM) holds special significance for me. It’s an opportunity to celebrate the richness of Black history and honour African contributions such as the fact that BHM itself in the UK that is, was first organised by fellow Ghanaian Akyaaba Addai-Sebo, while ensuring that children, including my own, learn about the diverse narratives that have shaped society. By sharing these stories, we not only honour our heritage but also foster a more inclusive environment, empowering future generations to embrace diversity and cultural understanding.
The Other Talk
When you hear “the talk,” what comes to mind? Many might think of that awkward but necessary conversation about puberty and sex.
But as a Black parent living in the diaspora, there’s another conversation that’s just as crucial – the talk about racism and how to deal with it.
Whether we acknowledge it or are privileged enough not to experience it, racism exists. And if we don’t educate our children about it, the world will do it for us, often in ways we can’t control and before we’re ready.
I wasn’t in a rush to have this conversation with my daughter. I wanted to protect her innocence for as long as possible. But in 2020, the year the world decided Black lives mattered after George Floyd’s murder and the ensuing Black Lives Matter protests, I had no choice. She was seeing images of protests and violence on the news, and she had questions, naturally.
I explained what a protest was – a way to use our voices to fight for change in the bad things that happened in the world. This led to me trying to explain that for some reason [racism], there were people in the world who didn’t like us because of the colour of our skin. It was the second time that year, that I had to tell her that some people might negatively judge her simply because of her skin colour. The first time I broached the topic was in a much more child-friendly circumstance, bedtime. We were reading Lupita Nyong’o’s beautiful book, Sulwe. Although the subject of the book is colourism, (a product of colonisation which then led to racism) I’ll never forget the way her shoulders dropped, and the confusion on her face, quickly followed by sadness when she learned that her skin could be seen as a problem.
Now, four and a half years later, I find myself reflecting on Stephen Lawrence, murdered by racist thugs, who would have celebrated his 50th birthday last month. Now as a parent to a Black son, I realise the added responsibility I carry. At some point, even while he is still a child, my son may be seen as a threat, potentially putting him in physical danger. This knowledge hits me differently, especially knowing that I will eventually need to have “the talk” with him, but with the added nuance of teaching him how to stay safe and think critically about the covert and overt messages society sends non-White children that can cause their own damage.
Pride and Reclaiming the Narrative
Despite these challenges, I can't help but feel an overwhelming sense of pride when I hear my daughter speak passionately about her skin, her hair, and the richness of her Ghanaian culture. Her willingness to share this will all who want to (or don’t want to!) hear it makes me smile. In line with this year’s BHM theme, I’ve always been intentional about helping her reclaim her narrative. She speaks confidently about who she is and her heritage, and I hope to instil this same sense of pride in her younger brother. Friends and family can attest that big sister is already leading by example, likely to drum it into him even more than I will – and I love that!
Now we're in the month of October which is BHM in the UK, I’m reminded of the importance of these conversations. While I think about this every day, 365 days a year, I write this now because, unfortunately, this is when some minds are more likely to be open to hearing it. Our children need to know that they matter, that their skin is beautiful, and that their identity is something to be proud of – always.
As we move through BHM and beyond, I invite you to consider:
What conversations are you having with your children about race and identity?
How can we, together, ensure that every child grows up knowing that they are valued, beautiful, and worthy of pride?
Happy Black History Month to all.
I would love to hear your thoughts so feel free to leave a comment below.
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